Friday, May 6, 2011

Why are memories always so bright and luminiscent

Why are memories always so bright and luminiscent? Why does the present always seem so dull and lusterless in comparison? Was it just the presence of unconditional love that radiated from her every pore that has transformed a simple ceremony of the kind into something that seems to hold another meaning ..not just the ceremonial, but the truth that a mothers love is what life is all about.

I have inherited her love for this custom and love to follow it just as she had. Perhaps my way of paying homage to her while respecting the sentiment behind this custom..for the everlasting life and love of your husband. Women fast, paraying to ‘Gauri Mata’ just so that she may bless the husbands with longevity and good health.

I am happy but tears just dont seem to stop flowing . Its as if they have a will of their own. Mamas blessings were so important, her presence so comforting, her innocent abiding by this tradition sans questions or doubts so endearing. She just believed..that is it. Garlanding my father before she began the fast and at night wouldnt take a drop of water without touching his feet and taking his blessings. Papa reciprocated with as much love, laughter, humor and reverence .

He personally kept a vigil up for the moon and impatiently strolled on the terrace , waiting for a glimpse so that she could break her fast. The moon rarely ever made an early appearance much like the star of the evening. It almost has to be cajoled into bestowing us with its presence. So we kids were sent of to different areas of the house, terrace, balcony to herald its arrival, while he busied himself with personally preparing the ‘shikanjavi’ lemon water ,with which she would break her fast.

Karva Chauth doesnt seem the same for me now. Its horrible I know to color such an auspicious occasion with sadness. But there is this deep sorrow, this memory which only seems to get stronger, just keeps coming back with regularity..a picture so deeply embedded of my mother, em,bodying the, ‘vrat/ in, its t,rue m,,eaning, as if a ,‘devi’ teaching, us all what it m,eans to love, and respect your husband, what the real connotation of Karva Chauth is.

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